So today I felt really full, in weird, weird ways.

”Hey Ian? It’s kinda weird. I haven’t done this in a while… it makes me full inside. Full of emotion. Other people’s emotion. Which feels right. Is that weird?”

“Yes. It’s very weird. But it’s you. So go do you.”

This pretty much sums it up for me. I haven’t gone full comforting mode in months, having several people at once ranting or crying or feeling and sharing. It reminded me of a middle school a bit. And I realized how much this overwhelming amount of emotion pouring out of others into my ears and my heart made me feel fulfilled. It’s when I feel closest to the whispers of the Spirit and what God is wanting. 

I felt such anguish at the thought of all of these people having bad days, and I kept thinking of way after way that I could maybe spread a little bit of a smile or a warmth in their day. I felt anguish, but I felt peace. It felt like my heart was throbbing with the weight of little bad things and huge bad things and terrible moods and broken relationships. And yet it felt right.

Comforting others is when I focus the least amount on myself, because I’m being filled with everyone else. And through that, I feel filled with God. Or maybe when I’m being filled with God, He allows me to feel the clear emotions of everyone else. Regardless. It’s significant to me. It’s essential for me to feel like me. It’s a big part of why I analyze and observe and crave people. I want to help them individually, in the way they need. And then I want to give them all kisses on their foreheads and silently or loudly whisper encouraging verses in their ears.