Mami is my very best, dearest friend. She is my journal and my rock. She knows when I am slightly off my game; she can tell after two words on the phone whether I’m in a bad mood or not. Her blatant honesty with me makes me grow, and she has sacrificed a lot of her own time into my growing up.
She knows every single thing about me. I literally have no secrets with her, I hold nothing back. She knows more than anyone else, and she still loves me and respects me and thinks I’m worth something. And while I can’t say that she tells me everything too, I know that she shares most of what is in her heart. We understand that it goes nowhere, and we understand the age difference.
She’s the closest tangible example of God’s love that I’ve got. And I need it, because I forget often. Her endless “Bible verse” texts can get annoying, but she knows that I need them. When I’m doubting, she shows me how God is my rock, and when I’m strong, she encourages me to hold onto Him even harder.
She can be crazy and goofy and adorable. But she can also be stern, annoyingly overinvolved, and the typical “be safe!” mom. She still knows when I need space, though. She knows when I am going to do something even if she says not to do it. In fact, there have been several times when she just keeps quiet about what she thinks I should do, because she knows if she says anything, I’ll do the opposite. (I hate orders. But if she truly orders me, I’ll always be obedient.)
She is the only person I can cry freely around. I cry around her all the time, actually… When I say that I rarely cry, I just don’t count my time with her. And I guess that’s the truth about a lot of things. I don’t count her as another person, because she’s just a part of me. And that’s that.
I have grown a lot in the past year. I used to think she was perfect. Since breaching “young adulthood,” I’ve learned that she actually has a mean streak, she’s a little too Type A for her own good, and she repeats herself a lot when she’s telling certain stories. She resorts to “doctor talk” sometimes, when I just want her to on the “friend talk” page. Her anxiety gets the best of her at times, and her codependence sometimes doesn’t allow her to be at the health level she deserves.
But knowing her flaws as well as her strengths makes my faith in my own potential grow even more. I believe in her with all of my heart, because she has still a ridiculous amount of grace and love in her heart while being a flawed woman. She allows herself to be a humble servant before God, while being the least judgmental person I have ever met (which is saying something, because I know her the best).
If she can do all of that, so can I.